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13 Minutes

Christian Friedel

Katharina Schüttler

Burghart Klaußner

Johann von Bülow

Felix Eitner

David Zimmerschied

Rüdiger Klink

Oliver Bigalke

Cornelia Köndgen

Martin Maria Abram

Gerti Drassl

Lissy Pernthaler

Anna Unterberger

Anton Algrang

Michael Ehnert

Udo Schenk

Thomas Gräßle

Annika Strauss

Michael Kranz

Simon Licht

David Holmes

Oliver Hirschbiegel

Léonie-Claire Breinersdorfer

Fred Breinersdorfer

Boris Ausserer

Oliver Schündler

Judith Kaufmann

Alexander Dittner

An Dorthe Braker

Christine Caspari

Marion Foradori

Thomas Neudorfer

Benedikt Herforth

Thomas Stammer

Daniele Drobny

Astrid Poeschke

Dirk Lange

Jonas Kluger

Juri Stanossek

Marina Winter

Alexander Wlk

Simone Fischer

Heiko Burkardsmaier

Jörn Großhans

Urs Franzen

Thomas Gottschalk

Bernd Schuller

Matthias Biber

Timm Brückner

Magda Habernickel

Max Bauer

Michael Stancyk

Digba Kurpjel

Andy Kennedy

Srdjan Kurpjel

Christian Bischoff

Tatjana Krauskopf

Bettina Marx

Tapio Liukkonen

Christoph Merg

13 Minutes reminds me mostly of two things: Sideshow Bob’s “Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry?”, and Dominic Toretto’s “It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning's winning” — and, by the same token, losing is losing, whether by 13 minutes or 13 hours.

According to a poster, this movie is “based on the true story of the man minutes away from almost killing Adolf Hitler.” The operative word here is “almost” — which as we know only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. The film is subtitled “Er hätte die Welt verändert,” or “He would have changed the world.” Woulda, coulda, shoulda, didn’ta.

I really don’t understand the fascination with both historical and fictional attempts on Hitler’s life. I mean, it’s just like Terminator; no matter how many robots Skynet sends back in time, John Connor will always live to tell the tale — and so did Hitler until he killed himself (now, if only they made a movie wherein a Hitler from an alternative future timeline is sent to terminate our reality’s version of him; perhaps the one good Hitler in the entire universe is tasked with eradicating his evil counterparts, sort of like that Jet Li movie).

Wikipedia informs me that “No fewer than 42 [Hitler assassination] plots have been uncovered by historians. However, the true number cannot be accurately determined due to an unknown number of undocumented cases” (I know that Tarantino did have Hitler killed, but Inglorious Basterds doesn’t count; not because it’s speculative fiction — which it actually isn’t really at all — but because it’s stupid).

The movie deserves some credit for choosing an obscure subject; I for one wasn’t aware of Georg Elser’s existence, but then maybe there’s a reason for that — after all, I’m also unaware of the myriad individuals who almost climbed Mount Everest.

What makes Elser any more special than the other 41 would-be Hitler killers? If anything, he comes across (at least based on what we learn about him in the film) as a bit of a jerk: he has a child out of wedlock whom he abandons; he seduces a married woman, commits adultery, and procreates another bastard (what? Look it up, that’s the correct word); and he kills eight innocent bystanders in his failed bombing of Hitler (by the way, this is an oddly sedate Hitler; even when he’s giving a speech — the only time we see him —, he does so sans his usual incendiary oratory; odder still because the film is directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel, whose Der Untergang features the famous, foaming-at-the-mouth Bruno Ganz performance), none of which he ever appears to be very contrite about.

13 Minutes Official Trailer 1 (2017) - Christian Friedel Movie

13 MINUTES - UK Trailer

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13 Minutes

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Cast

Christian Friedel

Katharina Schüttler

Burghart Klaußner

Johann von Bülow

Felix Eitner

David Zimmerschied

Rüdiger Klink

Oliver Bigalke

Cornelia Köndgen

Martin Maria Abram

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